i barfeds in our rink
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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