walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
your like the ambassador to my penis.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
