My room smells like vodka and shame
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
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