There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
