She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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