all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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