Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
