I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
