in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
