Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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