john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
