please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
