dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
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If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
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I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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