Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
my liver is dry heaving
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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