I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
