he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
