like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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