im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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