you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
