My boss' voice literally gives me gas
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
It all started with a game of naked twister.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
