Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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