I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
