I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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