What did we do last night that was yellow?
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
