I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
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