I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
too bad you live with your parents still
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
