Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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