I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
My vagina is very pro this idea
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
