I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
