i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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