her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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