fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
