he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
