I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
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I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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