I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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