I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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