im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
