Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
