OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
