he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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