Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
