just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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