so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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