She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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