Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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