I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
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Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
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remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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