What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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