I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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