I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
