"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I need moral support for this bender
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
