We're facebook friends in real life
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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