You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
