I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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