Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Come back. Shots need mouths.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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