He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
