very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
