Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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