I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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