I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
