Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
