He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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