I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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