Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
