Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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