Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Never underestimate the power of titties
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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