I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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