Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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