I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
