TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
