You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
