They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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