Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I hope mine doesn't look like that
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
