just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
