you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
