her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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